Freedom is       not                 Free   . . .

I know well how those few words will sting the heart, lyump the throat and burn the eyes of those who lost a loved one during the attack of September 11, 2001 because that's what those words stirred in me as I experienced the Korean War Memorial at the National Mall in Washington DC in August of 1999.  For the second time in my then 44 years I felt validation of my personal loss, m personal sacrifice for the freedoms most Americans take for granted. 

Unlike most children I never got to sit on my Daddy's lap, or have my tiny little hand be lost in his big man hand, I never got to see the pride or disappointment in his eyes for my accomplishments or shortcomings.  He was never physically there for me, but spiritually he never let me down. My father, a Sergeant in the US Army, died 5 days before I was born.

So instead of the daily doses of a father's love, I grew up with his Army photo and the knowledge that there was something even more important, even greater than the love for one, and that is the love for all.  I grew up with a sense of honor and patriotism, believing that the love of freedom comes with a price tag, a good value at whatever the price.  I didn't understand it in those exact words until I experienced the Korean War Memorial.

The Memorial is a magnificent display of larger than life American soldiers marching through a Korean field in full combat gear; there is a remembrance pool, a wall with the etching of 1000+ unnamed faces of American service people, and then there are the heart rendering words . . . "Freedom is not Free". 

The lives that were touched will never be the same, you don't "get over" the loss of a loved one, you merely get on with living.  Sometimes the best you can do to make it through a day is to put your right foot in front of your left.  Life goes on, even when our very souls are wounded, even when we just want to pull the blankets over our head and sob for all that should have been.

Our friends on the US DisAbled WaterSki TEAM, shes and hes whose planned lives were interrupted by unplanned incidents have taught us the Secret of Life.  They've gone beyond their catastrophic losses and what might have been to make the best of what is.

And that is what we must, each and everyone of us, must do now.  We must live the Secret of Life;  "if it is to be, it is up to me." If families are hurting, it is up to me to send kind words or helpful funding to ease their pain.  If our economy is to recover, it is up to me to spend as I normally would.  If freedom is to prevail upon this planet, it is up to me to do my part.

Sometimes that's easier said than done, we've a son in the US Navy on a Destroyer that's headed for the Persian Gulf in the near future.  My 51 year old husband got on the Navy's web site and filled out the enlistment form, without even discussing it with me.  When I mentioned I thought it something we should have discussed (we do have a minor child still at home, and we depend on his income) he said  Freedom, exercising the free will that God granted us when we were created, is bigger than "us".  He's right of course, but yet I cannot imagine my personal pain of losing him in a war. I lived most of my life longing for a Daddy, unfulfilled in my little girl self, only able to release it all with the love of this husband.  My first thought was that I could never recover, then I realized life would go on, as would I, as would our children, as would the world.  Freedom is not free.

Let us, as a people, honor the humans, and validate the losses of their families, who gave their life for America by building a magnificent memorial at the Washington National Mall.  Let us provide each American family with a flag that has flown over the Capitol. ("Flags A Flyin' in a Memorial Day Breeze, all these people died so others might be free.")

 Let freedom ring from the rebuilt World Trade Center buildings.  Let us not become a nation of vigilantes and strike out at one who appears guilty. Let us not fear American citizens who resemble the accused . . . we must remember what we did to Japanese-Americans after Pearl Harbor.  Let us remember that Timothy McVeigh walked among us.  Freedom is a great responsibility, and we must be responsible.  We must, according to our American standards, bring to trial the accused. An innocent man was just released from prison after serving 17 years for a rape and murder he didn't commit.   In America we are innocent until proven guilty by a court of law.  That's what it'll take for Freedom to prevail.  We must not forget that.  We must not give way to our pain and anger seeking vengeance, we must forge ahead for true freedom and justice, for that is the foundation upon which this great nation was built.

In spite of these horrific losses we must look to the silver lining within.  People are appreciating others in their lives, people are appreciating another day of life.  This young generation has grown up with highly paid, sometimes emotionally immature athletes and entertainers for role models, thinking primarily of self gratification.  Today children and young adults see that the selflessness of these true American heroes is what is of value, and no amount of money or fame can compare with honor. Americans are valuing their Freedoms.

America has changed forever, and that's not a bad thing.  We've all heard stories of rude, uncaring, insensitive New Yorkers; today we hear countless stories of heroism and compassion. My favorite story is of a man in a Radio Shack in New York, televisions were on and all eyes in the store were drawn to the screen as the WTC burned and collapsed.  Patrons stood slack jawed in disbelief of what was happening across town.  Then one among them reached out to grab the hand of a stranger, they all joined hands and prayed together.  

America has turned to  prayer, to helping one another, to becoming an ever better nation than was ever dreamed.  We must not turn against those who look like the accused, we must embrace them as fellow Americans who came to this country seeking what we who were born here have all too often taken for granted.  We must crown our good with brotherhood, from sea to shining sea.

This is the land of the free, and the home of the brave.  United we stand.

Last updated 11/01/01